Undergoing Maternal Changes
July 19, 2011
Somewhere along the path of life, my style preference has changed from Banana Republic to Eddie Bauer. How did this happen? It really should not have come as a surprise to me. When I was a little girl I used to go through magazines and catalogues and pick out my future family. I always seemed to find “my family” in the Lands End catalogue. Perhaps I was always partial to the rugged outdoorsy look and have been living a lie all these years in cashmere tops and heels.
Everyone says that becoming a parent changes everything. Before I was a parent, I didn’t understand what they meant. I don’t think you can understand it until you experience it. Yes, you expect the sleepless nights and the poopy diapers, but there are so many more personal transformations that take place.
Here are 10 examples (in no special order) of how motherhood has changed me:
1. Going to bed at 10:00 (or before) no longer seems lame. (Okay, who am I kidding… now I just have an excuse to do it, I never thought it was lame.)
2. I think my body went through a permanent transformation during pregnancy. None of my clothes seem to fit anymore. Sure, I have yet to lose that extra 5 pounds of baby weight (yeah, it’s defiantly from being pregnant a year and a half ago and NOT from eating all those baked goods and lack of exercise), but does 5 pounds really make that much of a difference? It has created a sort of identity crisis for me. I walk into a store and I don’t even know what size I wear anymore.
3. I feel extraordinarily sad for people who can’t have children and even for those who think they don’t want them. I know, it’s a personal choice and parenthood isn’t for everyone, but I still wish everyone the kind of happiness it has brought to me. And, if there was a small piece of me who was pro-choice before (and there was), it is gone.
4. I see no point in spending a lot of money on clothes during my childbearing years when my body is just going to keep changing. If I do go shopping I only buy the staples of any wardrobe, like jeans and cotton t’s with an occasional sweater here and there. And I now have the annoying habit of looking at a shirt and thinking, “Oh, that’s cute, and it would still fit for a while if I happen to become pregnant again.”
5. My feet are a half size larger than they used to be. That better not happen with every pregnancy. They are already big enough.
6. Since I never really had a chest, I wanted one. Now that I have one, I want it to go away. Give me back my B’s.
7. When I was little I always wanted a boy and twin girls (That was the “family” I always made, as stated above. Their names were Michael, Annabelle, and Abigail.) Now the thought of having multiples scares the crap out of me. One newborn is a lot to look after. I know you adapt, but… still scary.
8. I used to schedule my life around television. Now I rarely watch it.
9. I was a worrywart before, but now I have PMS (my brother coined that phrase when we were young telling my mom she was suffering from Paranoid Mother Syndrome). And now, I am extra cautious around people I don’t know thanks to Diane Sawyer’s interview with Jaycee Dugard. Thanks for the nightmares. I needed those.
10. I used to embrace the glorious differences in people, but now when I see a man dressed in heels, a fur coat, and a cowboy hat I think, “Get away from my child, Freak!”
What unexpected changes did you see in yourself upon entering parenthood?